we love labelling. we label everything. in some cases labelling is ok - it helps structure things and make life easier, but in other cases, instead of making it easier - it make everything worse.
and i'm specifically talking about labelling the relationships. when you love a person you're dating, you learn more things about him, find out what he loves more, what makes him happy. but once the label (husband/wife) comes on the attitude changes. a husband or wife can understand anything, he or she is a part of you and you don't need to spend as much time on researching him/her as you used to before. but imagine, you are dating different people, and you marry not the one you really married, but another one, that means that the life with the other person would be different, so this one unique label 'husband' or 'wife' doesn't work uniquely for every person. moreover, it is somehow humiliating, it covers under one word so many people, so different from each other.
the same applies to all relationships. when we do something in respect to our friend, we tend to think, 'a friend would be ok with that, he would like or not like it', but why not try and address it without label? not a friend, but nino, elene, sali... because all of the people have their own points of view and their own feelings, even if they are all in the same 'friend' label category.
mom will understand, friend will forgive, husband will always be around - forget those thoughts. each person is unique, and by making labels and categories we forget that each person should be treated as such, according to his or her personality, with different attitude to everyone and without any labelling.
and i'm specifically talking about labelling the relationships. when you love a person you're dating, you learn more things about him, find out what he loves more, what makes him happy. but once the label (husband/wife) comes on the attitude changes. a husband or wife can understand anything, he or she is a part of you and you don't need to spend as much time on researching him/her as you used to before. but imagine, you are dating different people, and you marry not the one you really married, but another one, that means that the life with the other person would be different, so this one unique label 'husband' or 'wife' doesn't work uniquely for every person. moreover, it is somehow humiliating, it covers under one word so many people, so different from each other.
the same applies to all relationships. when we do something in respect to our friend, we tend to think, 'a friend would be ok with that, he would like or not like it', but why not try and address it without label? not a friend, but nino, elene, sali... because all of the people have their own points of view and their own feelings, even if they are all in the same 'friend' label category.
mom will understand, friend will forgive, husband will always be around - forget those thoughts. each person is unique, and by making labels and categories we forget that each person should be treated as such, according to his or her personality, with different attitude to everyone and without any labelling.
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