Thursday, March 14, 2013

fear of silence

i know the kind of phobia i have. it's the fear of silence. those of you who know me, know how much i love to talk. but this love originates from something that i realize is making me talk all the time - the hate of silence. i feel extremely uncomfortable around people in silence. it makes me begin talking about million different things just for the purpose of breaking it.

i have realized the scale of my silence fear several days ago while on holiday in bakuriani, georgian ski resort. one of the slopes had ski lift which would bring me up the slope i spent most of the days skiing from. in the middle of the ski lift route there was a man sitting on a log watching out for the unfortunate skiers falling off the lift. and so were the two other man - one in the beginning and one in the end. when i started my way up, i used to say something to the first man, then there was this mid-route man and finally i had to come up with something to say to the last guy. within several days i knew everything about them: names, surnames, families, ages, hobbies, their mood, news for the day, plans for the summer etc. but sometimes came the moments when i didn't know what else to say and when those guys were talking on the phone or looking other way, i was so relieved and could finally enjoy the sun and tanning till the end.

so here comes one of my biggest lessons from this situation - those people with whom you are comfortable in silence are the closest people to your heart. in my case especially, because there are so few of them.

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