Wednesday, November 27, 2013

changes

i envy people who are easy on changes. who love them and always look for new things, new places and new experiences. who can easily move out of one place and move in to another without having heart pricks. who can buy new suitcases and throw out old ones. who can throw coins into fountains without nostalgia and be sure about coming back soon. who can say goodbye to people, with whom they spent some time, without big amount of tears.

unfortunately, i'm very nostalgic. i miss my moscow home all the time, when i get there 1-2 times a year, i look through all the drawers, sit and read all my old notebooks, listen to old cd's and take out old clothes from the wardrobe. i instantly begin missing all my childhood years and student life. i get nostalgic even in a hotel, where i stayed for a week. when closing the door i try to make a snapshot of the room with my head and put it into my memories. i hate leaving places. i hate leaving things behind. i always have that weird feeling that those things can get upset that i have forgotten them. i hate forgetting.

i wish it could be easier for me. i wish i didn't take so many things so close to my heart. i wish i could learn to ignore and get less sentimental.


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